Books of the Children, for the Children, but not by the Children.

Emma Fritcher.

A simple name, but unique; and hidden within is a world of miser.. I mean mystery and multifacetedultudinous which overwhelms most human minds, and fries others to a crisp. Yet, it is the name which all the children sitting Indian-style on the floor are crying and screaming and begging, in between puffs on the peace pipe. It has indeed been a surprise to the publishing industry at the wholesale destructi... distribution brought on by her books; but it is no surprise to the little ones. I say it comes as no suprise to most children, because most children were not surprised by this particular suprise of surprises, not knowing either previous nor present publishing figures for books of the past or of other.

Irregardless of her rivals, Miss Fritcher has quickly risen to the top of the children's book industry, with each of her publications having a higher record of sales than any previous publication, except the Bible, and Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events.

Nonetheless, her profusility continues, and there as of yet seems to be no end to the dexterity of her typing fingers as they produce volume after volume of ingenious children novela.

Some of her past works include such works as, among other works, The Chronicles of Me: Defiant, Not Getting Hitched, and Need a New Wardrobe. This insiteful tome appeals to children, particularly young girls, across the globe, and is translated into 17 other languages, including Romanian; sales continue to go through the roof, despite the fact that this work was aimed primarily at the Female student body of a rural college in VA, offering insightful pointers on vocations, dating, singing, sewing, crocheting, cooking, baking, moneymarketing (with a special section for which Miss Meghan Beller was consulted), laundrying, vacuuming, painting, dishwashing, welding, skiing, skeet-shooting, and diaper changing. No matter its targeted market, this particular publishing of Miss Fritcher's is typical in its versatility and popularity.

She is currently working on a road atlas and cookbook for Hindoos.

We asked Miss Fritcher in a candid interview about her life's work, and in particular asked her what her secret was, to which she replied, looking off into the distance:


"I am not really certain. I feel a special connection with the past, almost as if I've been reincarnated. Has it ever occurred to you how tragic it is to lose one's youth, and to lose touch with your childhood? That is why I write children's books; I feel I am part of a special labor commune with children across the globe, and across time. My books are the bonds which connect us. I think from my first work, Wear the Red-Burnt Clothes, I established that connection with the children of the ages, and from that connection I've subconciously drawn my inspiration."