We at The Academy News have just been informed that a previously posted photograph of a certain choir director with his rather attractive pupils is a fake. An inside source stumbled across a similar photograph and sent it our way earlier this afternoon.
The Academy's forensic experts then performed a side-by-side comparison of the photos to discover which is the original. After hours of careful scrutiny, they determined that the picture published yesterday is a fabrication. The more recent photograph appears to be the original! "It appears that the photograph circulated yesterday was the result of hours of careful computer change-the-facesing," said the lead expert.*
"Look at the man's pale face in the first photo. He's obviously suffocating from the combined effect of seven girls' perfume! But what really gives it away is the girls themselves. Allow me to explain; I have two theories.
Theory # 1. Everyone knows that the only time women beam like that is when they're in the process of man-killing - particularly when the victim is as handsome as that pale fellow. Trust me, I'm a forensic expert.
My second theory is even more horrifying.
Theory # 2. Judging from their appearance and their alleged profession, I think it's clear that those women are none other than sirens. They apparently lured this fellow with their singing - as sirens often do - and now he's caught in their poisonous fumes. They're probably about to stick him in the fireplace.
Clearly, one of these theories must be correct. Either way, the newly published photograph must be the original. I mean, come on, does that choir director guy really expect us to believe that he could keep a straight face even if he couldn't breathe."
The undercover forensic expert went on to say that this is the first case of computer change-the-facesing he has encountered in his illustrious 12 hour career.
We at The Academy News are not exactly sure what any of this means, but we're looking into it. Far be it from us to publish mere rumor or suspicion. In other news, the nameless forensic expert's quote is the longest ever published.
* The following statements do not necessarily reflect the views of The Academy News, but we're broadcasting them anyway.
I'm fired. First day on the job too.
ReplyDeleteDittert, this is hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing. Your blog by far, right now, is my favorite. I check it daily. Consider me a huge fan. :o)
ReplyDeleteAdrienne
Well actually, as much as I'd like to take credit for this, it was written by someone else, as it says at the bottom of the post, posted by the amateur. I also fired him, as it says in the next post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments though, we here try to make it interesting and enjoyable, and actually updated! "Personally," says the editor, "I hate blogs, and so that is why this is a newspage and not another blog."
ReplyDelete